[ Ephemera comes back covered in oil and bite marks, and blood streaked all the way down his throat. Later, he'll feel the bruises settle in. No broken bones, a few bruised ribs. One of the milder beatings he's taken over the years, aside from a possible concussion. He'll deal with it later.
He shuts the door without a word and just heads for the shower. He hates how the oil feels. How it's soaked into his hair, gotten behind his prosthetic. The smell of it.
Which is, of course, when he rounds the corner and nearly runs smack into Drake. Shit.
Ephemera stares at him for a good three seconds. ]
[ You sure do, Drake thinks but doesn't say, just blinking at Ephemera. It takes a lot to surprise him but the oil manages it, the other man's skin glistening. Bite marks and blood marring it.
This can't be anything he entered into consensually, right? Which means Drake is instantly worried for Ephemera's mental state.
First things first. Let him shower. Drake steps aside quietly, letting Ephemera slip past him to the bathroom. He had been coming to see what the other man wanted for dinner when he heard the door, but he can just make something while Ephemera's in the shower. ]
[ The first thing he does is take his eye out and flush the socket. The oil's gotten in, started irritating the shit out of the flesh there, and fuck that's a mess. He hates it, Ephemera thinks bleakly, and only just refrains from punching his reflection in the mirror. This is what, the fourth time he and Felix didn't kill each other?
It'd be much simpler if they had. They certainly drew enough blood to try.
He showers. He uses all the scented crap he can get his hands on and his scrubs his skin raw until the oil's gone completely.
Breathe. You're fine.
He doesn't feel fine. But he doesn't hide in the bathroom, either. He heads back to his own room and his own clothes and he gets dressed. Long sleeves, loose pants. His painting clothes. After, he slaps a bandage over his eye and that's -
Better, he thinks. And then he heads out into the kitchen because there's really no dodging this when he and Drake live together now. He leans against the wall and exhales slowly. ]
Nothing's broken. Might have a concussion, but I didn't break anything.
That's good news. But not the part of it I had questions about.
[ He stirs the pot over the stove once more and puts the spoon down in its rest, turning to look at Ephemera. Leaning back against the counter, gripping it to hide his tension there. Ephemera might know him well enough at this point to catch that trick, though. ]
It looked like something you wouldn't have done willingly happened again.
[ He's trying to hide it, his worry and anger, but the hints are there. The white knuckled grip on the counter, the way his eyes linger at the bite marks still visible above Ephemera's collar. He breathes out, nodding. ]
Do you want to talk about the rest? Or just have dinner?
[ It eats at him that again, he wasn't there. They can't be chained to each other, but the things that happen here make him want to be. ]
[ Ephemera watches Drake for a long moment. Before, he knows he would have turtled up and done his best to put the whole thing out of his mind. Put himself in front of a mural and a bottle of tequila and kept on trucking until he either passed out or something finally made sense in his mind. Strangely, this time he's calmer. Twitchy still, but -
Less.
He steps forward and just hugs Drake, pressing their foreheads together. ]
[ Drake blinks in surprise when Ephemera steps in for a hug, but he's letting go of the counter so his own arms can come up as soon as the other man makes contact. The question is, does Ephemera want the comfort or is he just trying to reassure Drake that he's okay? Maybe it's both? Either way, it feels important. And it's not like Drake's going to pass it up. He leans into the contact, eyes closing and shoulders uncoiling just slightly. ]
You don't have to tell me, either. Sorry if I made it sound like that.
[ Bit the shit out of him. It was a whole thing. ]
Tried to rip his throat out. Didn't have any weapons on me. Don't know if they would've stopped it then. Don't think they wanted anyone to die, not really. But they wouldn't let us leave.
[ Well that sounds brutal. There's a certain amount of dissonance between knowing Ephemera's absolutely capable of that kind of violence and the way the other man is holding him right now, that Drake just takes in stride as part of knowing him. It is what it is.
He hums thoughtfully. ]
Seems like their favorite trick. But you're better with it this time.
[ He doesn't feel better. He feels - hollowed out, in the aftermath. Confused. He exhales and presses close to Drake, listening to his breathing. Trying to slow his own to match it. ]
I don't know. One moment we were going to kill each other, and then -
[ And then. Ephemera breathes out slow. ]
There was this moment he reminded me of Hunter. When Hunter was losing his mind. And I just - I was calm then. I had to be calm.
...I know what that feels like. When you feel like you're gonna lose it, but the other person already is and they need help. So you hold it together when maybe if it was just you, you couldn't manage it.
[ Drake's definitely someone who can stay calm for other people as easy as breathing, but calm for himself took time.
He reaches up and brushes Ephemera's hair back, nuzzling his cheek gently. ]
I get the feeling the motivation might've been a little different.
[ Drake grins, pressing a kiss to Ephemera's cheek. It's different with Ephemera -- it's always been easier for some reason. Natural. They just fit, somehow, and he doesn't have to think about it.
He suspects with Ephemera and whoever the biter is, it was more about survival than love. Given that he's mentioned tearing the guy's throat out. ]
[ Probably. Ephemera can’t say he likes Felix, but Felix makes sense to him in a way not a lot of people do. What was that thing Crais said about soldiers? Predictable patterns of damage, or something along those lines.
[ Another kiss, another stroke to Ephemera's hair, and Drake relaxes a little more against him. It's making sense to him now, why Ephemera seems steadier this time. It's not that the situation was better. It's that he's grown. ]
It was different than when you were calm for Hunter, right? This guy wasn't family, wasn't someone you wanted to protect... but you knew what to do to help and you did it. And you both made it through.
[ That's big, Drake thinks. He doesn't want to freak Ephemera out by blowing it up, but he does want to acknowledge it. ]
Do you realize how far you've come just since you got here?
[ Sometimes Ephemera wonders if there was any saving Hunter. CT was manic, out of control. Barely lucid even in his quiet moments. His brother lost too much too violently. Blamed himself even though it was just —
It was just what happened. And maybe if Ephemera had been stronger, hadn’t been so badly injured he couldn’t even walk, maybe then —
But he couldn’t. He didn’t. And so his brother died sick, and surrounded by strangers. ]
[ Drake has a pretty good idea what Ephemera's thinking about, but those thoughts are natural. They just have to happen, and they deserve to be acknowledged. He does hold Ephemera a little tighter, though. Hugs him close and ducks his head.
The admission is also big. The fact that he even could feel like more of a person, and that he's acknowledging it. ]
[ Ephemera closes his good eye and breathes out slow. He’s tired, more then anything. But he doesn’t feel insane. He doesn’t feel brittle, like he’s going to lose the thread. Like something in him is going to break if he doesn’t tap it down hard.
[ Drake can't really find the words to express how much that means to him. This isn't the life he thought they'd have, but he isn't alone in it. They're still together in the important ways and the complexities of it -- missing Ephemera truly being his partner, the awkwardness of one-sided quota sex -- aren't impacting him as much as they did at first. ]
You'll always have me.
[ It's a softly spoken promise, one that he maybe shouldn't make because they have no control over who comes and goes... but it rings true anyway. They've found each other twice now, Drake has to believe that no matter what they'll wind up together. He lets out a shuddering breath and composes himself, pulling back to look Ephemera in the eye. ]
[ Sometimes they share a bed and just lie down next to each other. Ephemera doesn't sleep well even on the good days, but having Drake at his side - helps. He can settle because he knows, deep down, that someone has his back. That he's safe. And he hopes he can offer that to Drake in turn. Something meaningful, even if he can't be steady.
He reaches up to cup Drake's face with his hand. Gentle. ]
I know.
[ It's said simply. They've always known how to move around each other. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
action
He shuts the door without a word and just heads for the shower. He hates how the oil feels. How it's soaked into his hair, gotten behind his prosthetic. The smell of it.
Which is, of course, when he rounds the corner and nearly runs smack into Drake. Shit.
Ephemera stares at him for a good three seconds. ]
I need to shower.
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This can't be anything he entered into consensually, right? Which means Drake is instantly worried for Ephemera's mental state.
First things first. Let him shower. Drake steps aside quietly, letting Ephemera slip past him to the bathroom. He had been coming to see what the other man wanted for dinner when he heard the door, but he can just make something while Ephemera's in the shower. ]
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It'd be much simpler if they had. They certainly drew enough blood to try.
He showers. He uses all the scented crap he can get his hands on and his scrubs his skin raw until the oil's gone completely.
Breathe. You're fine.
He doesn't feel fine. But he doesn't hide in the bathroom, either. He heads back to his own room and his own clothes and he gets dressed. Long sleeves, loose pants. His painting clothes. After, he slaps a bandage over his eye and that's -
Better, he thinks. And then he heads out into the kitchen because there's really no dodging this when he and Drake live together now. He leans against the wall and exhales slowly. ]
Nothing's broken. Might have a concussion, but I didn't break anything.
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[ He stirs the pot over the stove once more and puts the spoon down in its rest, turning to look at Ephemera. Leaning back against the counter, gripping it to hide his tension there. Ephemera might know him well enough at this point to catch that trick, though. ]
It looked like something you wouldn't have done willingly happened again.
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It's a theme around here.
[ His voice is soft. Bitter humor. ]
Pieces of it were a choice. Think that helped.
[ He thinks that's the only reason he hasn't completely lost his mind. ]
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Do you want to talk about the rest? Or just have dinner?
[ It eats at him that again, he wasn't there. They can't be chained to each other, but the things that happen here make him want to be. ]
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Less.
He steps forward and just hugs Drake, pressing their foreheads together. ]
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You don't have to tell me, either. Sorry if I made it sound like that.
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It's hard to explain.
[ His voice is soft. ]
I don't know if I've got the words.
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Try if you want. Worst case, I don't get it. But I can tell this place forced it again, and whoever it was, they're a biter.
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I got him back.
[ Bit the shit out of him. It was a whole thing. ]
Tried to rip his throat out. Didn't have any weapons on me. Don't know if they would've stopped it then. Don't think they wanted anyone to die, not really. But they wouldn't let us leave.
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He hums thoughtfully. ]
Seems like their favorite trick. But you're better with it this time.
[ What's up with that? ]
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[ He doesn't feel better. He feels - hollowed out, in the aftermath. Confused. He exhales and presses close to Drake, listening to his breathing. Trying to slow his own to match it. ]
I don't know. One moment we were going to kill each other, and then -
[ And then. Ephemera breathes out slow. ]
There was this moment he reminded me of Hunter. When Hunter was losing his mind. And I just - I was calm then. I had to be calm.
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[ Drake's definitely someone who can stay calm for other people as easy as breathing, but calm for himself took time.
He reaches up and brushes Ephemera's hair back, nuzzling his cheek gently. ]
It takes strength, you know?
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Like you do for me?
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[ Drake grins, pressing a kiss to Ephemera's cheek. It's different with Ephemera -- it's always been easier for some reason. Natural. They just fit, somehow, and he doesn't have to think about it.
He suspects with Ephemera and whoever the biter is, it was more about survival than love. Given that he's mentioned tearing the guy's throat out. ]
But yeah. I'm glad I can be that for you.
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Yeah. They’ve got those.
He breathes out, pressing close to Drake. ]
Thank you. For just - for being you.
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[ Another kiss, another stroke to Ephemera's hair, and Drake relaxes a little more against him. It's making sense to him now, why Ephemera seems steadier this time. It's not that the situation was better. It's that he's grown. ]
It was different than when you were calm for Hunter, right? This guy wasn't family, wasn't someone you wanted to protect... but you knew what to do to help and you did it. And you both made it through.
[ That's big, Drake thinks. He doesn't want to freak Ephemera out by blowing it up, but he does want to acknowledge it. ]
Do you realize how far you've come just since you got here?
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It was just what happened. And maybe if Ephemera had been stronger, hadn’t been so badly injured he couldn’t even walk, maybe then —
But he couldn’t. He didn’t. And so his brother died sick, and surrounded by strangers. ]
Sometimes.
[ It comes out soft. ]
I feel like more of a person now.
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The admission is also big. The fact that he even could feel like more of a person, and that he's acknowledging it. ]
I'm really proud of you.
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It happened. And then it ended. ]
It helps. Having this. Having you.
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You'll always have me.
[ It's a softly spoken promise, one that he maybe shouldn't make because they have no control over who comes and goes... but it rings true anyway. They've found each other twice now, Drake has to believe that no matter what they'll wind up together. He lets out a shuddering breath and composes himself, pulling back to look Ephemera in the eye. ]
Is it anyone I should worry about?
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He reaches up to cup Drake's face with his hand. Gentle. ]
I know.
[ It's said simply. They've always known how to move around each other. ]
Ah. Maybe?
[ Ephemera winces a little. ]
It's Felix.
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Of course reality crashes back. He opens his eyes again and breathes out, then turns his face into Ephemera's hand and kisses his palm. ]
I'm going to have a talk with that fucker.
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Wasn't his fault. It was just - a thing that happened. Think I tore him up more anyway.
[ There was a lot of blood. They hit each other in the head more than a few times before things turned. ]
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