braveoff | [ DUPLICITY ] inbox

Thank you for telling me.

[ Another kiss, another stroke to Ephemera's hair, and Drake relaxes a little more against him. It's making sense to him now, why Ephemera seems steadier this time. It's not that the situation was better. It's that he's grown. ]

It was different than when you were calm for Hunter, right? This guy wasn't family, wasn't someone you wanted to protect... but you knew what to do to help and you did it. And you both made it through.

[ That's big, Drake thinks. He doesn't want to freak Ephemera out by blowing it up, but he does want to acknowledge it. ]

Do you realize how far you've come just since you got here?

[ Sometimes Ephemera wonders if there was any saving Hunter. CT was manic, out of control. Barely lucid even in his quiet moments. His brother lost too much too violently. Blamed himself even though it was just —

It was just what happened. And maybe if Ephemera had been stronger, hadn’t been so badly injured he couldn’t even walk, maybe then —

But he couldn’t. He didn’t. And so his brother died sick, and surrounded by strangers. ]

Sometimes.

[ It comes out soft. ]

I feel like more of a person now.

[ Drake has a pretty good idea what Ephemera's thinking about, but those thoughts are natural. They just have to happen, and they deserve to be acknowledged. He does hold Ephemera a little tighter, though. Hugs him close and ducks his head.

The admission is also big. The fact that he even could feel like more of a person, and that he's acknowledging it. ]

I'm really proud of you.

[ Ephemera closes his good eye and breathes out slow. He’s tired, more then anything. But he doesn’t feel insane. He doesn’t feel brittle, like he’s going to lose the thread. Like something in him is going to break if he doesn’t tap it down hard.

It happened. And then it ended. ]

It helps. Having this. Having you.

[ Drake can't really find the words to express how much that means to him. This isn't the life he thought they'd have, but he isn't alone in it. They're still together in the important ways and the complexities of it -- missing Ephemera truly being his partner, the awkwardness of one-sided quota sex -- aren't impacting him as much as they did at first. ]

You'll always have me.

[ It's a softly spoken promise, one that he maybe shouldn't make because they have no control over who comes and goes... but it rings true anyway. They've found each other twice now, Drake has to believe that no matter what they'll wind up together. He lets out a shuddering breath and composes himself, pulling back to look Ephemera in the eye. ]

Is it anyone I should worry about?

[ Sometimes they share a bed and just lie down next to each other. Ephemera doesn't sleep well even on the good days, but having Drake at his side - helps. He can settle because he knows, deep down, that someone has his back. That he's safe. And he hopes he can offer that to Drake in turn. Something meaningful, even if he can't be steady.

He reaches up to cup Drake's face with his hand. Gentle. ]

I know.

[ It's said simply. They've always known how to move around each other. ]

Ah. Maybe?

[ Ephemera winces a little. ]

It's Felix.

[ The gentle touch to his face has Drake closing his eyes and leaning into it, savoring those words. For a moment, he can just be content.

Of course reality crashes back. He opens his eyes again and breathes out, then turns his face into Ephemera's hand and kisses his palm. ]

I'm going to have a talk with that fucker.

[ Yeah. That's a thing. Ephemera winces, then leans forward and just bumps their foreheads together. A small gesture. But a meaningful one. ]

Wasn't his fault. It was just - a thing that happened. Think I tore him up more anyway.

[ There was a lot of blood. They hit each other in the head more than a few times before things turned. ]

[ Drake leans into the contact, trying not to think about what that fight might have looked like. What Ephemera looked like in a pool of his own blood on that roof. Felix had messaged him, sure, but Drake really would have preferred there be less stabbing in the first place. ]

And the last time you two fought, you wound up in the hospital. He's dangerous and I just--

[ He's interrupted by the kitchen timer beeping, reminding him that he was making dinner. Right. ]

--I just want you safe.

[ He tilts his head and kisses Ephemera chastely on the lips, then pulls back to turn off the timer and stove and bring the pasta over to the sink to drain. ]

I know. I -

[ The timer dings before Ephemera can finish the thought. He exhales and drags a hand through his hair. It's starting to get long on him. He'll have to cut it soon. ]

I know. But just - not this time, okay? It wasn't on him.

[ Drake is quiet for a moment, then nods. ]

Okay. Not this time, then.

[ But he's still going to have a talk with Felix because... Ephemera makes it sound like there's definitely going to be a next time and he doesn't quite get the guy yet. And he's known criminals like him. The charismatic type, the one who's just funny and smart enough to think they're better than everybody else, but doesn't really make connections, just uses people for their own benefit.

Ephemera won't fall for his shit, he's the one who first warned Drake about Felix after all. But Drake wants to really get Felix, to know what makes him tick, to know what he's up to here. And with Ephemera.

So the talk's going to happen. Just not about this.

He turns back to Ephemera, tipping his head towards the cupboards. They don't need to talk about this anymore if Ephemera doesn't want to... Drake has something else to bring up over dinner. ]

Grab us plates?

[ The problem here — or one of them, anyway — is that Ephemera doesn’t know what he’s doing with Felix. Things swing from one moment to the next, the world tilts on its axis, and what would have been simple suddenly isn’t.

They haven’t killed each other. Despite opportunity and an abundance of vicious instinct, despite a lifetime building up all their brutal reflexes, they haven’t killed each other. And there were moments that edged onto —

Careful. Or something like merciful.

Ephemera exhales slowly. He doesn’t know what to do with any of that. He really doesn’t. But at least he can handle getting plates. ]

Yeah. I can do that.

[ All the more reason for them to talk about it, honestly, but Drake isn't pushing at the moment. Not when things are so raw, when he just wants Ephemera to feel safe with him. He takes those plates and serves them dinner, once again skipping the table to sit right next to Ephemera at the counter. ]

You want a drink?

[ Ephemera shifts a little closer to Drake. Taking comfort from the closeness. Someone watching his back, covering his blind spot. ]

Fuck, yeah. I could use a drink.

So could I.

[ He leans in and kisses Ephemera's cheek before moving past him to grab glasses and a bottle of whiskey, returning to his seat to pour for them both. ]

What do we toast to?

[ Whiskey sounds damn good right now. Ephemera rubs his thumb along the rim of the glass, then lifts it. ]

To solid ground.

[ To being alive on solid ground. ]

And -

[ He hesitates, struggling for the words. ]

For whatever it was that pushed us together.

[ Drake blinks, then smiles softly at Ephemera and clinks their glasses, taking a sip. ]

You'd better watch out, being that smooth.

[ Ephemera huffs a little. ]

Oh, yeah? You think I'm smooth?

I'm biased, but you're a charmer. Only one problem with it.

[ Ephemera smiles again, leaning back. ]

Yeah?

[ To be fair, this wouldn't be as much of a problem if Duplicity would just lay off and give Ephemera some breathing room but. ]

Yeah. It really makes me want to kiss you.

[ Oh. For a moment, Ephemera just watches Drake. He feels better than he did earlier. Settled, in small ways. But the thing easier is still fresh on his mind, the way the sand felt as it stuck under his nails and the smell of the oil. How there was a crowd watching.

He twitches. Tries to smile. Because there's a part of him that wants to, is the thing. To make this something good. He thinks it could be good, with Drake. Something they chose versus a matter of survival and compromise. ]

You -

[ He hesitates. ]

If you go slow, then. You can.

[ Drake watches Ephemera closely, sees him trying to smile, knows that there's something here. And that they've never... really made that choice, it's always been for quota, or to loosen the collar. But he knows there's a dozen traumas spinning around in Ephemera's head right now and it's unfair to ask. He sets his glass down and reaches for Ephemera's hand instead. ]

I don't want it to be something you... endure, for my sake. And I know this isn't a great time. But when you want it? I'm here, okay?

[ Ephemera breathes out and takes Drake's hand. Just holds it, rubbing his thumb along the span of Drake's knuckles. Gentle, always gentle. He needs that, he thinks. Something that isn't about violence or - surviving. ]

Okay.

[ He watches Drake for a moment. ]

I do. Want you. I think about it a lot.

[ It's not shocking, but it's still reassuring to hear. That this isn't one sided. Drake breathes out, smiling, and slips back off his stool to get a little closer. Still holding Ephemera's hand. ]

Just a kiss? For now.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject