[ Not all of it, Drake thinks -- he'd challenged the other man even if he hadn't pushed for resolution in one night. He's still a little worried what Ephemera's thinking about the whole Freelancer revenge quest, but... that's obviously not what he's talking about right now. ]
[ Drake nods his understanding -- no, he's not like a brother. It's different. 'In love' is different, and it's freeing to be able to say it. To hear it.
[ He loved his family. Loves them still, even though they're gone. He'll carry their ghosts until the end, whatever that means and wherever that takes him. But they were always siblings to him, the lines clearly drawn. It felt safe that way. He knew who he was with them. And this thing with Drake is new, and different, and he's never had that before. Not quite like this.
Even so, Drake comes closer. And he smiles like that, and it -
Fuck, Ephemera thinks. That smile. ]
I know I'm not the other one, the one you had a life with. But this - this is good. Not a lot of things are in this city.
Our memories are a big part of who we are, so even if you've just forgotten, I know it's different. You're someone different. But I-- we have a life now. I'll never stop loving him, but I fell for you too.
[ He doesn't know what that means for leaving, but he's going one day at a time. And there's no reason for them to deny themselves anything. ]
[ The touch is light. Gentle. Drake's always been that way with him. Careful in a way that never feels like coddling. Ephemera watches him for a moment, then breathes out. Nods. ]
[ He leans in and kisses Ephemera's forehead, gives his hand a little squeeze. He feels... peaceful. Like something's right in all the mess of this place. They have something good, and he's going to hold onto it. ]
Good. How's your stomach..? I can make real breakfast.
[ Ephemera closes his good eye, breathing out slow. Then, very carefully, he reaches out and puts his hand on Drake's arm. Lightly, for now. Just to touch him. Hold him, in some small way. ]
[ He might be stalling, just a little. Just to draw out the moment. To sit here holding on to each other, something so simple that feels so important. ]
[ Ephemera sighs, then takes a chance and presses a little closer so he can put his head on Drake's shoulder and just breathe. It feels safe. Steadying. ]
[ Automatically, Drake's hand comes up to cradle Ephemera's head. He threads his fingers through the other man's hair, rubbing lightly against his scalp -- a little massage to help the hangover headache. ]
You've got it. And I never did give you that backrub last night. IOU?
[ That feels nice. Ephemera hums a little, letting himself settle for a moment. Being touched still throws him more often than it doesn't. It's rare that he wants it, even rarer when he can relax into it. He thinks it comes easiest with Drake.
[ Ephemera presses against Drake, breathing out slow. It feels nice. He likes the shivery feeling that comes from Drake working his fingers through Ephemera's hair and down over his neck, ghosting around the implant. Gentle. ]
[ He hums a little, shifting so he's lying on top of the blankets instead of under them. So far, he hasn't felt sick. His hangover isn't fun by any stretch but it's not the worst he's had over the years. And it feels good just to breathe, to let things settle.
[ Drake shifts, climbing over Ephemera so his weight is on his knees, on either side of the other man's hips. Runs his hands up and down Ephemera's back, smoothing over his shirt. ]
Just relax.
[ And he starts to massage -- gentler than Henry taught him at first, just nice and relaxing at first. As he feels for knots and tight spots. ]
[ There's a moment where the position gives him pause, but Ephemera breathes though it and it's okay. He settles, focusing on the way it feels to have Drake's hands against him. Pressing against his back. And after a moment, Drake's weight over him feels more like a comfort than a half-remembered threat.
It's been a long time since he's let anyone touch him like this. Ephemera knows he's tense - he always is, these days - but it's one of those things he really only notices when it's gone. Like the pain in his joints, the way everything aches sharpest when it's cold or ten minutes after he first wakes up sleep. There's always a delay. Sometimes he wakes up and he doesn't hurt, but it always catches him afterward. Drake's hands are strong, but he's gentle about how he moves. Finding knots and spots of tension, and easing them away. And Ephemera melts. He feels warm, and -
Safe. And part of him wonders, idly, what it'd feel like to have Drake work him like this in a different context.
[ You're safe, Drake thinks, it's just me, and Ephemera gets there without him having to say it out loud. He's careful to keep his weight off the other man but can feel Ephemera uncoiling beneath him, the tension melting away under his hands. It feels nice to him, too, to be doing something where the results are so obvious. To press his fingers in and feel the knots release, to know that he's doing something good. Something where he's leaving Ephemera in a better state than he was in before.
He tilts forward with a little hum, hands still working low on the other man's back as he kisses the nape of his neck where Ephemera's shirt has shifted a little. ]
I like doing it. [ He admits it softly, hands sliding up. ] It's real good after workouts, too.
[ Ephemera huffs out another long sigh, feeling himself go plaint and boneless. It's been a long time since he's relaxed like this, since he's allowed himself to lower his guard long enough to even consider it. There's pain in his joints - there's always pain in his joints - but it feels less as Drake works him, as he leans in and presses a gentle kiss to the back of Ephemera's neck.
He shivers. It's strange, having this. It's even stranger to want it. To feel the pain lessen. ]
[ Drake shifts his weight again, straightening so that he can work down Ephemera's arms too. Easing away as much pain as he can with just his touch. ]
The trick's knowing how the muscles go. Working along the lines.
[ He squeezes Ephemera's hands and works back up to his neck, carefully. Minding the implant, just kneading away the tension there. He knows a couple pressure points that should help the headache. ]
[ Breathe. It's okay. It's just new, and it doesn't hurt. Ephemera feels his breath catch as Drake works pressure points around his neck. There are a few that Ephemera knows, though only in a violent context. Press one right below the jaw and you'll have a man howling. He never knew that others could have him melting into the blankets. No one ever taught him.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Felt like hell, after that shit with York. But not with you. That was -
That felt good.
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You remember, huh? And you meant it?
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[ His memory is spotty even when he's sober, but not about this. This bled true. ]
I've loved people before. My family. We said it a lot. Meant it every time. But that was - different. They were my brothers, my sisters. And you're -
[ He hesitates. ]
It's different. I'm different now. But it feels - good.
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He scoots a little closer, still smiling. ]
I'm glad -- it's supposed to.
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[ He loved his family. Loves them still, even though they're gone. He'll carry their ghosts until the end, whatever that means and wherever that takes him. But they were always siblings to him, the lines clearly drawn. It felt safe that way. He knew who he was with them. And this thing with Drake is new, and different, and he's never had that before. Not quite like this.
Even so, Drake comes closer. And he smiles like that, and it -
Fuck, Ephemera thinks. That smile. ]
I know I'm not the other one, the one you had a life with. But this - this is good. Not a lot of things are in this city.
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[ He doesn't know what that means for leaving, but he's going one day at a time. And there's no reason for them to deny themselves anything. ]
You okay with that?
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[ He won't deny that. Sometimes it trips him up. ]
But I don't get jealous. I never have. It just feels right, when I'm with you. Maybe that's enough.
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Just remember I love you. That part doesn't have to be complicated.
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I'll remember. Promise.
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Good. How's your stomach..? I can make real breakfast.
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Haven't thrown up yet.
[ Small favors. ]
Think I can hold something down.
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[ He might be stalling, just a little. Just to draw out the moment. To sit here holding on to each other, something so simple that feels so important. ]
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Always liked your pancakes.
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You've got it. And I never did give you that backrub last night. IOU?
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Funny, that. He can't explain it. Never could. ]
Uh huh. But this is making up for it.
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[ He keeps up the gentle touches, trailing his fingertips to the other man's neck to feel how tense he still is. ]
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Okay. You want me to lie down?
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Yeah. On your stomach, tell me if you start feeling sick or anything.
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He lies down, his head pillowed on his arms. ]
Feeling okay so far.
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[ Drake shifts, climbing over Ephemera so his weight is on his knees, on either side of the other man's hips. Runs his hands up and down Ephemera's back, smoothing over his shirt. ]
Just relax.
[ And he starts to massage -- gentler than Henry taught him at first, just nice and relaxing at first. As he feels for knots and tight spots. ]
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It's been a long time since he's let anyone touch him like this. Ephemera knows he's tense - he always is, these days - but it's one of those things he really only notices when it's gone. Like the pain in his joints, the way everything aches sharpest when it's cold or ten minutes after he first wakes up sleep. There's always a delay. Sometimes he wakes up and he doesn't hurt, but it always catches him afterward. Drake's hands are strong, but he's gentle about how he moves. Finding knots and spots of tension, and easing them away. And Ephemera melts. He feels warm, and -
Safe. And part of him wonders, idly, what it'd feel like to have Drake work him like this in a different context.
He sighs. Keeps his good eye closed. ]
's good. You feel - good, like this.
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He tilts forward with a little hum, hands still working low on the other man's back as he kisses the nape of his neck where Ephemera's shirt has shifted a little. ]
I like doing it. [ He admits it softly, hands sliding up. ] It's real good after workouts, too.
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He shivers. It's strange, having this. It's even stranger to want it. To feel the pain lessen. ]
Will you teach me? So I can do it for you, too?
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[ Drake shifts his weight again, straightening so that he can work down Ephemera's arms too. Easing away as much pain as he can with just his touch. ]
The trick's knowing how the muscles go. Working along the lines.
[ He squeezes Ephemera's hands and works back up to his neck, carefully. Minding the implant, just kneading away the tension there. He knows a couple pressure points that should help the headache. ]
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[ Breathe. It's okay. It's just new, and it doesn't hurt. Ephemera feels his breath catch as Drake works pressure points around his neck. There are a few that Ephemera knows, though only in a violent context. Press one right below the jaw and you'll have a man howling. He never knew that others could have him melting into the blankets. No one ever taught him.
He shivers again. ]
It doesn't hurt.
[ It doesn't hurt at all. ]
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