Our memories are a big part of who we are, so even if you've just forgotten, I know it's different. You're someone different. But I-- we have a life now. I'll never stop loving him, but I fell for you too.
[ He doesn't know what that means for leaving, but he's going one day at a time. And there's no reason for them to deny themselves anything. ]
[ The touch is light. Gentle. Drake's always been that way with him. Careful in a way that never feels like coddling. Ephemera watches him for a moment, then breathes out. Nods. ]
[ He leans in and kisses Ephemera's forehead, gives his hand a little squeeze. He feels... peaceful. Like something's right in all the mess of this place. They have something good, and he's going to hold onto it. ]
Good. How's your stomach..? I can make real breakfast.
[ Ephemera closes his good eye, breathing out slow. Then, very carefully, he reaches out and puts his hand on Drake's arm. Lightly, for now. Just to touch him. Hold him, in some small way. ]
[ He might be stalling, just a little. Just to draw out the moment. To sit here holding on to each other, something so simple that feels so important. ]
[ Ephemera sighs, then takes a chance and presses a little closer so he can put his head on Drake's shoulder and just breathe. It feels safe. Steadying. ]
[ Automatically, Drake's hand comes up to cradle Ephemera's head. He threads his fingers through the other man's hair, rubbing lightly against his scalp -- a little massage to help the hangover headache. ]
You've got it. And I never did give you that backrub last night. IOU?
[ That feels nice. Ephemera hums a little, letting himself settle for a moment. Being touched still throws him more often than it doesn't. It's rare that he wants it, even rarer when he can relax into it. He thinks it comes easiest with Drake.
[ Ephemera presses against Drake, breathing out slow. It feels nice. He likes the shivery feeling that comes from Drake working his fingers through Ephemera's hair and down over his neck, ghosting around the implant. Gentle. ]
[ He hums a little, shifting so he's lying on top of the blankets instead of under them. So far, he hasn't felt sick. His hangover isn't fun by any stretch but it's not the worst he's had over the years. And it feels good just to breathe, to let things settle.
[ Drake shifts, climbing over Ephemera so his weight is on his knees, on either side of the other man's hips. Runs his hands up and down Ephemera's back, smoothing over his shirt. ]
Just relax.
[ And he starts to massage -- gentler than Henry taught him at first, just nice and relaxing at first. As he feels for knots and tight spots. ]
[ There's a moment where the position gives him pause, but Ephemera breathes though it and it's okay. He settles, focusing on the way it feels to have Drake's hands against him. Pressing against his back. And after a moment, Drake's weight over him feels more like a comfort than a half-remembered threat.
It's been a long time since he's let anyone touch him like this. Ephemera knows he's tense - he always is, these days - but it's one of those things he really only notices when it's gone. Like the pain in his joints, the way everything aches sharpest when it's cold or ten minutes after he first wakes up sleep. There's always a delay. Sometimes he wakes up and he doesn't hurt, but it always catches him afterward. Drake's hands are strong, but he's gentle about how he moves. Finding knots and spots of tension, and easing them away. And Ephemera melts. He feels warm, and -
Safe. And part of him wonders, idly, what it'd feel like to have Drake work him like this in a different context.
[ You're safe, Drake thinks, it's just me, and Ephemera gets there without him having to say it out loud. He's careful to keep his weight off the other man but can feel Ephemera uncoiling beneath him, the tension melting away under his hands. It feels nice to him, too, to be doing something where the results are so obvious. To press his fingers in and feel the knots release, to know that he's doing something good. Something where he's leaving Ephemera in a better state than he was in before.
He tilts forward with a little hum, hands still working low on the other man's back as he kisses the nape of his neck where Ephemera's shirt has shifted a little. ]
I like doing it. [ He admits it softly, hands sliding up. ] It's real good after workouts, too.
[ Ephemera huffs out another long sigh, feeling himself go plaint and boneless. It's been a long time since he's relaxed like this, since he's allowed himself to lower his guard long enough to even consider it. There's pain in his joints - there's always pain in his joints - but it feels less as Drake works him, as he leans in and presses a gentle kiss to the back of Ephemera's neck.
He shivers. It's strange, having this. It's even stranger to want it. To feel the pain lessen. ]
[ Drake shifts his weight again, straightening so that he can work down Ephemera's arms too. Easing away as much pain as he can with just his touch. ]
The trick's knowing how the muscles go. Working along the lines.
[ He squeezes Ephemera's hands and works back up to his neck, carefully. Minding the implant, just kneading away the tension there. He knows a couple pressure points that should help the headache. ]
[ Breathe. It's okay. It's just new, and it doesn't hurt. Ephemera feels his breath catch as Drake works pressure points around his neck. There are a few that Ephemera knows, though only in a violent context. Press one right below the jaw and you'll have a man howling. He never knew that others could have him melting into the blankets. No one ever taught him.
[ Drake keeps massaging carefully, letting a bit of his weight down onto Ephemera's hips -- his legs are getting tired of holding himself like that but his hands are fine. Strong and warm and gentle. ]
[ Ephemera shivers again, gripping the blankets between his fingers before he takes a deep breath and lets the tension go. Lets himself go slack as Drake's weight settles over him a little bit more. Holding him still. Holding him steady. ]
Okay.
[ He shifts, turning his head. Good side down. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't open his remaining eye and see what Drake's doing. He just has to trust that Drake won't hurt him. And he does. He always has, he thinks. And the warm feeling just -
[ He leans forward again, kissing the other side of Ephemera's neck. Just like before, soft and warm. Then repeats the massage he just did, making sure both sides are loose and relaxed. There's nothing to be afraid of in this. It's not going to hurt, not with how careful he's being.
Once he's satisfied he eases up again, sliding off Ephemera's hips to lie beside him, one hand still protectively covering his neck. Ephemera can turn his head back to look at Drake if he wants -- he's smiling with a gentle sort of satisfaction. A job well done, he hopes. ]
[ It goes on, Drake working him. Gentle - always, always gentle - and with the sort of care that Ephemera didn't think he'd ever expect from people again. He's still hurting when it's done but the baseline ache fades down, ebbing to almost nothing.
It's strange, not to be in pain. It's become his constant companion. He's not sure to do with himself when it fades.
He shifts, peering at Drake. Good eye half-lidded. ]
[ There must still be some pain, Drake thinks. He's not a miracle worker. But he helped. He presses against Ephemera's side and bumps their foreheads together gently, closing his eyes. ]
You're giving me too much credit, but I'll do it whenever you want. Yeah?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ He doesn't know what that means for leaving, but he's going one day at a time. And there's no reason for them to deny themselves anything. ]
You okay with that?
no subject
[ He won't deny that. Sometimes it trips him up. ]
But I don't get jealous. I never have. It just feels right, when I'm with you. Maybe that's enough.
no subject
Just remember I love you. That part doesn't have to be complicated.
no subject
I'll remember. Promise.
no subject
Good. How's your stomach..? I can make real breakfast.
no subject
Haven't thrown up yet.
[ Small favors. ]
Think I can hold something down.
no subject
[ He might be stalling, just a little. Just to draw out the moment. To sit here holding on to each other, something so simple that feels so important. ]
no subject
Always liked your pancakes.
no subject
You've got it. And I never did give you that backrub last night. IOU?
no subject
Funny, that. He can't explain it. Never could. ]
Uh huh. But this is making up for it.
no subject
[ He keeps up the gentle touches, trailing his fingertips to the other man's neck to feel how tense he still is. ]
no subject
Okay. You want me to lie down?
no subject
Yeah. On your stomach, tell me if you start feeling sick or anything.
no subject
He lies down, his head pillowed on his arms. ]
Feeling okay so far.
no subject
[ Drake shifts, climbing over Ephemera so his weight is on his knees, on either side of the other man's hips. Runs his hands up and down Ephemera's back, smoothing over his shirt. ]
Just relax.
[ And he starts to massage -- gentler than Henry taught him at first, just nice and relaxing at first. As he feels for knots and tight spots. ]
no subject
It's been a long time since he's let anyone touch him like this. Ephemera knows he's tense - he always is, these days - but it's one of those things he really only notices when it's gone. Like the pain in his joints, the way everything aches sharpest when it's cold or ten minutes after he first wakes up sleep. There's always a delay. Sometimes he wakes up and he doesn't hurt, but it always catches him afterward. Drake's hands are strong, but he's gentle about how he moves. Finding knots and spots of tension, and easing them away. And Ephemera melts. He feels warm, and -
Safe. And part of him wonders, idly, what it'd feel like to have Drake work him like this in a different context.
He sighs. Keeps his good eye closed. ]
's good. You feel - good, like this.
no subject
He tilts forward with a little hum, hands still working low on the other man's back as he kisses the nape of his neck where Ephemera's shirt has shifted a little. ]
I like doing it. [ He admits it softly, hands sliding up. ] It's real good after workouts, too.
no subject
He shivers. It's strange, having this. It's even stranger to want it. To feel the pain lessen. ]
Will you teach me? So I can do it for you, too?
no subject
[ Drake shifts his weight again, straightening so that he can work down Ephemera's arms too. Easing away as much pain as he can with just his touch. ]
The trick's knowing how the muscles go. Working along the lines.
[ He squeezes Ephemera's hands and works back up to his neck, carefully. Minding the implant, just kneading away the tension there. He knows a couple pressure points that should help the headache. ]
no subject
[ Breathe. It's okay. It's just new, and it doesn't hurt. Ephemera feels his breath catch as Drake works pressure points around his neck. There are a few that Ephemera knows, though only in a violent context. Press one right below the jaw and you'll have a man howling. He never knew that others could have him melting into the blankets. No one ever taught him.
He shivers again. ]
It doesn't hurt.
[ It doesn't hurt at all. ]
no subject
[ Drake keeps massaging carefully, letting a bit of his weight down onto Ephemera's hips -- his legs are getting tired of holding himself like that but his hands are fine. Strong and warm and gentle. ]
Turn your head the other way.
no subject
Okay.
[ He shifts, turning his head. Good side down. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't open his remaining eye and see what Drake's doing. He just has to trust that Drake won't hurt him. And he does. He always has, he thinks. And the warm feeling just -
Spreads. ]
no subject
Once he's satisfied he eases up again, sliding off Ephemera's hips to lie beside him, one hand still protectively covering his neck. Ephemera can turn his head back to look at Drake if he wants -- he's smiling with a gentle sort of satisfaction. A job well done, he hopes. ]
You okay?
no subject
It's strange, not to be in pain. It's become his constant companion. He's not sure to do with himself when it fades.
He shifts, peering at Drake. Good eye half-lidded. ]
It felt good. I don't - hurt anymore.
no subject
You're giving me too much credit, but I'll do it whenever you want. Yeah?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)