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[ Drake's heartbeat gives him away. It's pounding in his chest despite his steady breathing, his even tone. He's upset, just trying not to make this about him. ]

Yeah... of course, I--

[ Drake breathes out, reaching for composure. ]

It'd be good for them both, he thinks. Because in the aftermath, scared and hurting, Sharkface came to him for comfort. Is accepting it, even if Drake feels like he isn't doing enough right now. That's a huge step for him, and if this sets him back in other ways, they can hold onto this. Work on the rest. ]

I'm sorry it happened, but I'm really glad you came to me. Please stay.

It was just -

[ Sex, he starts to say. It was just sex, it could have been worse. He could have drowned. He could have died like the sergeant. But the words die in his throat. He swallows hard. Tries to push them away.

He focuses on Drake, as best he can. He can hear Drake's heart pounding, but Drake's voice is steady.

Good, Sharkface thinks. Good, okay. That's real. ]

...thank you.

...it wasn't just that.

[ Drake hesitates for a moment, not sure how to explain himself. Why he thinks it's a big deal, without making Sharkface more upset. ]

It was something done to you, not something you chose to do. That external pressure, literally 'do this or die,' it takes away your agency. It's wrong. And you're right to be upset about it. Not whoever helped you survive by doing it, just. The fact that it happened. I'm sorry.

[ Maybe it'd be easier if he could blame someone. A person, a target, an enemy he could strike. Instead it's just this place and all the fucked up ways it tries to mess with people. Twist them up. ]

They weren't.

[ He rocks forward. ]

They could have hurt me. Really hurt me. And they didn't. So why does that feel worse?

I'm glad they were decent.

[ He gives the question the thought it deserves, before speaking again. ]

I think... it's because you know what to do with pain. You know how to endure it, how to respond to it. This is different.

[ Something twists in him again, that it was someone else. That he wasn't there to help. No, he scolds himself, forcing it back down. ]

[ He turns that over in his mind for a moment, then exhales. It makes sense, in the end. Pain he knows. Pain he can use. This is another monster all together.

Hah. ]

I'd rather be alive.

[ It's said softly. ]

I didn't want to die like that for nothing. And I survived. I'm - here, now.

[ His breathing has steadied. This is better, he knows. ]

[ Drake nods against the top of Sharkface's head, thinking that that's a big step too. That he'd rather live than die for nothing, for stubbornness. It's a shitty thing that happened, but he's alive. He made that choice.

His vision is blurry, and when he blinks he finds that he's tearing up. Keep it together, Drake. He doesn't realize that a tear has fallen onto the scarred side of Sharkface's head. ]

I'm glad you're still here.

[ Sharkface shifts, lifting his head to peer at Drake. Is he - ?

Oh. ]

Shit. I didn't mean to. To make you sad.

Huh?

[ Drake blinks again, then realizes what happened. He reclaims one hand to wipe his face, frustrated. He's supposed to be the steady one, the one offering comfort. Goddamnit. ]

I'm fine. Really, it's just. Hard to think about you dying and not get a little choked up.

[ He offers a lopsided smile, settling his arm back around Sharkface. ]

But you're here.

[ Maybe he isn't good company right now, or ever. But it fees - better, somehow, to press against Drake. To match their breathing. Things are quiet now. Steadier in the aftermath.

Maybe, maybe they could be okay. ]

I'm here.

[ He exhales. Slow and steady. ]

And you're here. That's something.

[ 'And you're here,' he says, and Drake's expression softens again. He lifts a hand, brushing his fingers down Sharkface's cheek affectionately. ]

I'll always be here for you.

[ But that's a lie, isn't it? He wasn't there when this happened, only in the aftermath. He seems to realize that, expression darkening briefly, guilt twisting in him... but manages to refocus on the other man. ]

Maybe we should stick together for awhile?

[ It's a small gesture. Light, affectionate. Sharkface blinks several times, then leans into it. He's not certain how to read the expression that follows on Drake's face, but -

Context, he supposes. It's not a good time for anyone.

He exhales. ]

Yeah. Yeah, we -

We could do that.

It'd make me feel better.

[ He admits it sheepishly, continuing to cradle the other man's face when he leans into it. Brushing his thumb over Sharkface's cheekbone. Yeah, he'd feel better having him around more. This isn't about him, but communication is important. In that vein... ]

You're important to me, you know. You.

[ Whether he's another version entirely or actually Drake's Ephemera without memories doesn't matter anymore. They have something, trust and care at the least, and that matters. The promise to protect each other that he's already failed, but -- if he can keep this from happening again, he'll do everything in his power for it. ]

[ Sharkface watches Drake for a long moment. Even now, he’s hard pressed to explain exactly why Drake was different. Because there was something there, even at the start. That trust. It shouldn’t have worked but it did. It does.

He exhales. This place is fucked and they’re complicated. There’s history between Drake and that other version that Sharkface can’t remember. But this?

This fits. They fit.

He closes his good eye and nods just once. ]

I know. I trusted you from the start.

[ They have something, even if it's not the same yet. Something precious, to be protected. Drake smiles softly, then reaches down and pulls the covers up over them higher. Rubs Sharkface's back a little, hoping he's comfortable and warm and actually feels safe. ]

You should try to rest. I'll be here, I promise.

[ In some ways, it’s like being back home. Knowing that one of his team was there to watch his back, to stand guard while he slept. They always curled up together, fuck what anyone else said. Even in armor, they wanted that closeness. Needed it. Something human in the aftermath.

Like now. Like this. He nods slowly, curling against Drake. ]

Okay.

[ He still feels scraped raw, scoured, but exhaustion does it’s work. He sleeps, in the end. Restlessly, uneasily, but he sleeps. ]

[ Drake manages to sleep, too, finally, with Sharkface in his arms. When he wakes up they're cuddled close against each other, the other man half using him as a pillow. He can feel Sharkface stirring and shifts onto his side with a contented sigh so that they're facing each other. Still pressed close, legs tangled, one arm draped over his waist.

He bends his other arm up and brushes Sharkface's bangs away from his good eye, and just... looks at him. How peaceful he seems in this moment. Drake wishes it would last, but maybe he can still make this a good day. Make up for some of the awfulness that he's been through. ]

[ There might be dreams. Sharkface doesn’t remember them, though. Not this time. He shifts, still fuzzy from sleep, and instinctively presses closer to Drake. Seeking warmth, closeness. The sort of comfort he’d almost forgotten. He exhales and opens his good eye slowly, blinking.

Oh. ]

Hey.

[ His voice is soft. And it occurs to Sharkface then that the only time he’s slept in a bed in years, literal goddamn years, is with Drake. ]

[ Drake smiles at him, perfectly content with his snuggling closer. ]

Morning.

[ It's hard to tell, with how dark and stormy it is outside, but there is some light coming in through the half-drawn curtains. Drake rubs his hand along Sharkface's back, making no move to disentangle from him just yet. ]

You sleep okay?

[ It feels good. Sharkface shifts a little, wondering at that. His joints are aching with familiar pains, but there's a tenderness to his wrists that's all new. But the hand on his back feels nice, gentle, and he likes how it feels to press close. To feel Drake next to him, solid and strong. ]

Yeah. Didn't even dream.

Good.

[ He keeps stroking Sharkface's back, even as he stretches a little. Working out the morning stiffness. ]

You hungry?

[ Sharkface rolls his shoulders, considering. Then, to his own surprise: ]

Yeah.

[ He hadn't thought he'd have an appetite after the night before. But he does. ]

Okay. Gimmie a minute and I'll get up...

[ He's enjoying the morning cuddles, and still kind of waking up. ]

How do you feel about pancakes?

[ Sharkface pauses a moment. Then he huffs and smiles. ]

I like 'em. You got the stuff to make 'em?

Yeah, I should have everything. And bacon, I'm pretty sure.

[ He'll make a big breakfast. Maybe teach Sharkface to flip a pancake. It'll be nice, he just needs to get out of bed... ]

This is me getting up.

[ He presses their foreheads together for a moment, then reels his arm back and rolls over so he can sit up. It sucks and he's going into cuddle withdrawal already, but breakfast is important. ]

Try not to fall back to sleep.

[ And with that he pushes himself out of bed, raking his hair back as he pads barefoot out to the kitchen to start cooking. Coffee first. ]

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