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That's fine. Anything else?

[ He hesitates, then clarifies. ]

Can I touch you?

[ Sharkface twitches, touching his knuckles to his mouth. This used to be easier. He liked being with other people. Making them smile, finding out what made them feel good. And now -

It feels hard. And it shouldn't. ]

If you go slow.

[ He says it quietly. ]

I can do that.

[ He reaches out, taking Sharkface's hand and rubbing his thumb over the other man's knuckles. ]

You can tell me if it's too much, okay?

[ Oh. Sharkface shivers, good eye going wide, but he doesn't flinch away from Drake. The touch is soft. It doesn't hurt.

It doesn't hurt. His throat goes very tight. He nods, suddenly unable to speak. ]

[ Sharkface doesn't pull away, doesn't even flinch this time, and Drake smiles softly. Progress. ]

Come on.

[ He uses the gentle hold to tug Sharkface forward, out of the kitchen and towards the bedroom door. It's loose enough that he can pull free if he wants, but he figures the contact is something of a warmup. ]

[ Okay. They're doing this. Sharkface takes a deep breath, then lets it go. He follows Drake and tries to pretend it feels easy, natural. And it wasn't bad last time. Pieces of it were good. Pieces of it almost felt like before, when he was Ephemera for real. Like there wasn't all this weight hanging over both of them.

They can pretend for a little while, can't they?

Sharkface swallows hard, squeezing Drake's hand. Gentle, to start. That feels like the right way. ]

[ They're doing... something. Drake knows how touch starved Sharkface is, and is hoping he can nudge things a little further without pushing for his sake. Not just his own. He leads the other man into his room just like the last time, drawing him in with the hand he's squeezing. That's promising. He smiles encouragingly as the gap between them closes and takes care to telegraph his movements.

His free hand comes up and settles on Sharkface's chest, light but there, and he leans in to touch their foreheads together. Just like before, so hopefully familiar. ]

Just breathe.

[ Breathe. Hah. Drake closes the distance between them, his hand resting against Sharkface's chest. And then -

Sharkface shivers, closing his good eye. He leans into the gesture, nuzzling against Drake. Wanting the closeness even as it scares him. The weight of it. The implications.

It could be simple, couldn't it?

Sharkface reaches out and puts his hand on Drake's arm, squeezing. He breathes out slow. ]

[ There you go, Drake thinks to himself, just relax. He nuzzles back gently, just trying to get the other man used to this. To being close again. To being able to trust someone being so close.

When he can feel Sharkface's pulse level out a bit he slides his hand up, to his shoulder and then his neck, touch soft but protective. He happens to be on the scarred side, but knows it won't hurt. Just feel a little less intense, maybe. They stand like that for another minute, going slow and easy. ]

Can I kiss you?

[ He still has sensation under the scars. Not as much, but enough to know when he's being touched. Whether it's meant to wound or not. And this is -

It's a lot. It's heavy in a way Sharkface doesn't always know how to weather and he hates how his breath hitches, how close it comes to a flinch.

But it's a comfort too, in a strange way. Tied up in too many emotions to name, but a comfort nonetheless.

He breathes out. He settles. ]

Yeah.

[ His voice comes out rough. ]

[ Drake isn't trying to make this heavy, but showing Sharkface that contact with him isn't something to fear or expect pain from is probably going to be. He knows that. But the other man seems to settle again -- breathe -- and consents to kissing, which seems like the best case scenario. Drake just hopes he isn't pushing himself.

The kiss is soft but sure, Drake keeping things light for the moment. He squeezes Sharkface's hand encouragingly, and sucks very gently on his bottom lip. Thinking that maybe, just maybe, if the other man likes it this could become something more mutual. ]

[ It's hard to focus, to know what he's supposed to be doing here. Sharkface shivers again, squeezing Drake's hand. He doesn't kiss Drake back, but he doesn't pull away either. Maybe that's enough.

Probably not, though.

He closes his good eye and presses their foreheads together, leaning against Drake. The closeness feels good, at least. Like something he'd like to keep. ]

[ It's not encouraging, but not exactly discouraging either. Sharkface doesn't pull away. That's something, but Drake does stop kissing him. He squeezes back instead, letting the forehead touch linger and taking the other man's weight easily.

It's something, he tells himself. And not a small thing, either. It's trust. Just... maybe not attraction, or a willingness to let himself feel it? Not yet. He won't let himself worry it'll never happen.

If nothing else, he's pretty sure the closeness is welcome, and that's a place to start. ]

Lie down with me? Just that.

[ Sharkface opens his good eye and watches Drake for a moment. It simpler last time. closer to transactional. This isn't.

Breathe. Just -

Breathe.

He swallows hard, then nods. ]

Okay.

[ Like before, his voice comes out rough. He leans in and kisses Drake briefly before he can think about it too much. Not hard, but enough to feel. ]

[ Drake smiles softly at that, letting his hand slip down from Sharkface's neck in something that's almost a caress.

Then he steps back towards the bed, climbing on and scooting to the far side to make room. They can lie down and relax a little, get used to being close to each other, just touching. It might help. ]

C'mere.

[ Sharkface hesitates for a moment, then kneels down and unlaces his boots. Deliberately, he steps out of them. Pushes them into a straight line. He leaves his socks on. It feels better that way, somehow. Like armor.

Breathe.

He watches Drake for a moment, his throat tight. Does it make it worse that Drake is the sort of handsome that Sharkface wants to draw? That his smile is so -

Sharkface twitches. Takes a deep breath, and then lets it go.

He moves. Lies down stiffly next to Drake and reaches out a hand to touch Drake's arm. Lightly, to start. ]

[ Drake settles on his side, facing Sharkface with his head propped up on his arm. The touch is welcome, but the other man is tense enough that Drake's going to let him ease up before touching back just yet. ]

It's okay. Tell me more about the jump with those black cliffs.

[ Sharkface blinks, surprised. ]

You want to hear about that?

[ Drake nods, like it's the most natural thing in the world to ask about. ]

Yeah. It's something that makes you happy.

[ He doesn't respond immediately, running his fingers along Drake's arm. Breathe, he reminds himself. Just breathe. ]

It was a bad drop. Huge fucking mess. Locals were Insurrectionists, or close to it, and they hated our guts. Command was on this diplomacy kick. Wanted a win they could put in the news. Humanity coming together and all that shit.

[ It's supposed to be a good story, though. And here he is focusing on the bad. Sharkface exhales. ]

Anyway, command told us to drop in, try and get whoever was still alive to an extraction zone. Locals were hiding in these caves by the water. Couldn't land a pelican down there, not with terrain that rough, so we did a free jump. We were expecting shitty weather. Lot of rain, lot of wind. It was gonna be a rough jump.

[ Sharkface huffs, giving Drake a faint smile. ]

Storm broke while we were in the air. Sun came out and those cliffs, man. They were shining so bright you couldn't look at them directly. But I could see them reflected off the water as we were going down. Never seen anything like it. Like an oil slick, shining in the sun.

It was a bad drop all around. But that, that was good.

[ Drake shifts a little closer during the story, just getting Sharkface used to the proximity. It does sound beautiful, even if it was a bad drop. He had no way of knowing. ]

I didn't mean to ask about a bad one, sorry -- tell me about your favorite? Unless you don't feel like talking anymore.

[ Casually, as if it's the most natural thing in the world, he drapes his arm over Sharkface. Just to see what the response is, if he's ready for a little more contact or not. ]

[ Most of the stories he knows are bad, Sharkface thinks. He could tell Drake about his family, but that only ends one way. They're gone. Most people he knows are gone now. Maybe he doesn't have any good stories left.

Sharkface breathes out and leans in to press his forehead to Drake's. It's answer enough, he hopes. ]

[ It's answer enough. Drake hums softly, leaning into the contact and sliding his hand up the other man's side in what he hopes is a soothing manner. ]

It's okay.

[ Sharkface shivers, closing his good eye. He used to be good at this sort of thing, once. Touching people. Knowing how to be around them. How to tell stories that don't end with awful things. He thinks that part of him might have died, and he fears what rose in its place is inadequate to the task.

But it feels good to press close to Drake. To match his breathing.

Sharkface takes a shuddering breath, and then another. Maybe if he stops talking, if he just focuses on the physical, then it won't feel so heavy.

Maybe then it'll be okay.

He squeezes Drake's arm, trying to force himself to focus. It's fine. Or it can be, if he holds it together and doesn't make it complicated. ]

[ Drake scoots in again so they're fully against each other, and strokes the other man's back in time with their breathing. Slow and steady.

He waits until Sharkface seems to ease up a bit before brushing their noses together, telegraphing what he'd like and waiting to see what he does about it. ]

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