It's true -- he doesn't need to ask at all, Drake will sign the license whenever it's put in front of him. But he can tell that Jesus needs him to say yes. Maybe there's just comfort in being told he's doing the right things?
So he does.
"Babe, I'd say take in a whole colony if that'd help... yeah. Keep his cat. He'd wanna know somebody was taking care of it, right?"
The kiss doesn't catch Drake off guard this time -- obviously he's getting used to Jesus using kisses to show gratitude. It's sweet, really.
"K? No... but I did see his post. Poor guy. Sounded like he really wanted to believe his dom was kidnapped."
Denial can last awhile, for some people. Drake hadn't replied since others seemed to have broken the news already and he wouldn't have been able to offer anything more to a stranger, but hopefully they got through to him.
"Yeah. He's not handling it well." Jesus is mourning, but he'll come out of it all right. This is no different than every other person he's lost, except he hasn't had to put a knife through V's head to be sure he'd stay dead. "He has a temporary Dom, though. They haven't hurt him."
Not the way Jesus's temp from the Zoo had hurt him, at least. "K's a good man. I hope you two get to know each other."
"I'd like to meet him, then. But what do you mean, not well?" Drake asks with concern, gently tugging the tie out of Jesus' hair so he can stroke his fingers through it. "Everybody grieves differently."
"You're right. You're right," he breathes out, and leans against him again and just lets himself enjoy how steady Drake feels right now. "I keep forgetting. Back home you could tell who was going to pull through and who wasn't. The people who pull through don't grieve deeply. It doesn't pull them down for long. It can't. But here, maybe he'll be okay."
Once again, it makes perfect sense with what he knows of their world... but Drake's response to hearing it from Jesus is different than when he heard it from Rosita. He hums softly as the tie pulls free, slipping it onto his wrist and just playing with Jesus' hair for a moment while he considers his words.
After all, he promised he'd be more careful with how he said things.
"...hey. You know that doesn't have to be you anymore," he murmurs, brushing his nails gently over Jesus' scalp. "I'm not saying dwell on it, but letting yourself feel deeply is safe now. At least with me. It's like... you're tied to an anchor, right? If you don't let it pull you down for long enough to free yourself, you're always gonna be fighting it. You'll get stronger so it's easier to stay afloat, but the weights add up. The knots get tighter. Better to wind up on the bottom for just a little while, so you can get out of the rope."
This obviously isn't meant to be entirely about Jesus, but he's getting to K. It felt important to address them both. Drake gives the other man a moment for that to process before speaking again, voice low and thoughtful.
"Is it K's first time losing somebody like this? 'Cuz it's never easy, but it's more important that he's not alone through it. Just like you're not -- so let it pull you, try to stay calm to work the knot loose, and trust me to keep the sharks away. Then maybe you can do the same for him."
"Yeah. I think so." He's pretty sure K has only ever lost one other person close to him. He doesn't know how close K and V were--close enough to contract despite K's deep concerns about it.
He does know how close he was to V. He remembers every evening they spent on rooftops watching the city change over to its nightlife. He remembers how he'd felt every time he saw V walk into a room.
The only thing he can do, he thinks, is not let this loss make him take for granted any of the people he still has.
Trust me to keep the sharks away.
Maybe Drake can do that. Maybe Jesus can let him do that, if just for tonight.
"Did you know," he murmurs, looking up at him. "You've never once made me doubt that I can trust you?"
Excuse you, Jesus, he's supposed to be making you feel better right now! Drake blinks, confused for a moment by the slight change of subject, but... it's not a bad one. And probably something he did need to hear, considering how poorly his conversations with Rosita keep going.
There's a subtle difference between understanding and respecting her concerns, and letting her doubt shake him. It was the same dynamic with Crais and Ephemera, where he'd start to worry after talking to one, until he was alone with the other. And this time around the entire issue has been whether or not Jesus can trust him. What Rosita expects him to do doesn't really matter, it's that like nearly everyone else around here, she's braced for him to not be as good as he seems.
Nearly everyone else. That makes Jesus pretty damn special.
Drake smiles at him, letting his fingers slip free of the other man's long hair just so that he can brush more of it out of his face.
"Did you know that you're a breath of fresh air?" He ducks his head, almost shyly, and gives a soft huff of laughter before glancing back up at Jesus. "I'm glad. You can trust me. But I think I was getting a little cynical there, myself."
He leans his head slightly into that touch, letting the slip of Drake's fingers in his hair soothe him. Although he frowns slightly at what Drake says.
"Why? Why cynical?" It's one thing Jesus strives not to be, no matter how easy it would be to just slide into that way of seeing the world.
Drake hesitates. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything, but now that he has it'd be weird not to answer. So he shrugs like it's not a big deal and twirls a lock of Jesus' hair around his finger, answering as casually as he can.
Jesus manages to win people's trust fairly easily; it's a part of how he survived the apocalypse. He can imagine, though, the hurt he'd feel if everyone insisted he was lying about his intentions. He's used to skepticism and cynicism, but it saddens him when it runs too deeply in people.
"You've got me now," he offers, and smiles slightly. "I might be a little bit of a mess right now, but you can lean on me." He kisses him lightly. "I can take it."
Drake does not. It's not through any fault, really... he doesn't give people any reason to doubt his intentions but they seem to find that in itself suspicious. Maybe it's that he's such a big guy and people find him intimidating, or because the city decided to make him a dom and they don't believe that was a random decision. That's kind of where Rosita's coming from, right? You can't ever trust someone who's got power over you.
"Lucky for us both I don't need to today, so it can be your turn." Drake gives Jesus that softly fond look again, once again struck by just how blue his eyes are. "You still thinking?"
"I think I'm going to let K settle. Let him feel things out with this Dom, see how he feels about contracting. To him it's ownership--he can explain it better than I can, I don't want to speak for him. But his world sort of geared him to feel that way, he's been owned before." And so it's complicated and Jesus doesn't know how to help, but there has to be a way. He just has to find it.
But he doesn't have the answer yet, and he has a feeling he won't like the answer when it comes, and the city feels so different without V in it. "Can I stay here with you tonight?"
That detail about K having been owned before has Drake's brow furrowing unhappily, but he since Jesus just said he'd prefer K explain it... he doesn't ask. Just nods slightly, hoping he'll find out more details eventually in case he can help somehow.
Tonight, though? Drake's priority is supporting Jesus so he can be there for his friend tomorrow. And the question about staying has him smiling again.
"Course you can. It's still early but I was gonna cook tonight... maybe this can finally be when I get to show off instead of taking you out?"
He's still holding onto Drake but he glances aside at the kitchen, then back with a grin. "Do I get to help or do I get to just sit and watch you work?"
It's not like Drake's getting up to start dinner right now, Jesus can stay right where he is for the time being. That question really didn't need asking, though -- he just grins.
"I'm always gonna say to do whatever's more fun for you, if you haven't figured that out yet."
"So the aim is to spoil me, huh?" He kisses him--deeper this time than the earlier way he'd simply been showing affection and gratitude. "I could get behind that."
...okay. He's not complaining and is certainly kissing back, but also isn't 100% certain if the deeper kiss is a hint. It could be. If Drake was the type to guess at these things he'd just go in for another one and see what happens, but he isn't.
"Spoil isn't the word I'd use," he murmurs, sinking his fingers deeper into Jesus's hair again. "But if you like the sound of it I'm not gonna argue."
He takes the gentle pull of Drake's fingers as encouragement and kisses him again, this time crawling onto his lap, then breaking the kiss. "This okay?"
Well that's definitely a hint. Drake's response goes from reciprocation to eagerness as Jesus shifts onto his lap, leaning forward slightly to chase the kiss when the other man breaks it. It's the question that has him glancing up into those bright blue eyes, nodding again.
They should, and if he got an affirmative answer that was gonna be Drake's next move anyway, but being so considerate of his partner yet again earns Jesus even more favor.
"Yeah," he agrees warmly, shifting his grip. "Guess you'd better hold on."
Especially considering where his hands have wandered -- it's only a partial defense to say that grabbing Jesus' ass makes it easier to pick him up. Drake stands in one smooth motion, stepping around the coffee table and carrying Jesus across the apartment towards his room. He doesn't need to see where he's going, the path second nature even if they were in total darkness.
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So he does.
"Babe, I'd say take in a whole colony if that'd help... yeah. Keep his cat. He'd wanna know somebody was taking care of it, right?"
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"It's just until K is signed with someone." Which is a whole other conversation, one he has to dip into. "Have you met him?"
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"K? No... but I did see his post. Poor guy. Sounded like he really wanted to believe his dom was kidnapped."
Denial can last awhile, for some people. Drake hadn't replied since others seemed to have broken the news already and he wouldn't have been able to offer anything more to a stranger, but hopefully they got through to him.
"You been to see him since he was told?"
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Not the way Jesus's temp from the Zoo had hurt him, at least. "K's a good man. I hope you two get to know each other."
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After all, he promised he'd be more careful with how he said things.
"...hey. You know that doesn't have to be you anymore," he murmurs, brushing his nails gently over Jesus' scalp. "I'm not saying dwell on it, but letting yourself feel deeply is safe now. At least with me. It's like... you're tied to an anchor, right? If you don't let it pull you down for long enough to free yourself, you're always gonna be fighting it. You'll get stronger so it's easier to stay afloat, but the weights add up. The knots get tighter. Better to wind up on the bottom for just a little while, so you can get out of the rope."
This obviously isn't meant to be entirely about Jesus, but he's getting to K. It felt important to address them both. Drake gives the other man a moment for that to process before speaking again, voice low and thoughtful.
"Is it K's first time losing somebody like this? 'Cuz it's never easy, but it's more important that he's not alone through it. Just like you're not -- so let it pull you, try to stay calm to work the knot loose, and trust me to keep the sharks away. Then maybe you can do the same for him."
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He does know how close he was to V. He remembers every evening they spent on rooftops watching the city change over to its nightlife. He remembers how he'd felt every time he saw V walk into a room.
The only thing he can do, he thinks, is not let this loss make him take for granted any of the people he still has.
Trust me to keep the sharks away.
Maybe Drake can do that. Maybe Jesus can let him do that, if just for tonight.
"Did you know," he murmurs, looking up at him. "You've never once made me doubt that I can trust you?"
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There's a subtle difference between understanding and respecting her concerns, and letting her doubt shake him. It was the same dynamic with Crais and Ephemera, where he'd start to worry after talking to one, until he was alone with the other. And this time around the entire issue has been whether or not Jesus can trust him. What Rosita expects him to do doesn't really matter, it's that like nearly everyone else around here, she's braced for him to not be as good as he seems.
Nearly everyone else. That makes Jesus pretty damn special.
Drake smiles at him, letting his fingers slip free of the other man's long hair just so that he can brush more of it out of his face.
"Did you know that you're a breath of fresh air?" He ducks his head, almost shyly, and gives a soft huff of laughter before glancing back up at Jesus. "I'm glad. You can trust me. But I think I was getting a little cynical there, myself."
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"Why? Why cynical?" It's one thing Jesus strives not to be, no matter how easy it would be to just slide into that way of seeing the world.
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"It's not even one hand's worth, counting the people that have just trusted me here. Padmé. Ephemera. You. Funny that you all wound up signing, because everybody else starts out convinced it's a front. And I'm used to that, but like..." he shakes his head a little, his smile faltering for a moment, "There was a long stretch of people giving me a hard time, between him and you. Especially with Crais and Sam gone I guess dealing with that suspicion more again is on my mind a lot. Awhile back I did let it get to me, that he was all I had and I was leaning too much... it wasn't fair to make him deal with. That's all."
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"You've got me now," he offers, and smiles slightly. "I might be a little bit of a mess right now, but you can lean on me." He kisses him lightly. "I can take it."
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But Padmé did. Ephemera does. And now Jesus does. Drake wasn't wrong about that, even if he was doubting it a little until the other man said it out loud. Something warm and comforting settles over him and he realizes he hadn't known how much he needed to hear it until just now.
"Lucky for us both I don't need to today, so it can be your turn." Drake gives Jesus that softly fond look again, once again struck by just how blue his eyes are. "You still thinking?"
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But he doesn't have the answer yet, and he has a feeling he won't like the answer when it comes, and the city feels so different without V in it. "Can I stay here with you tonight?"
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Tonight, though? Drake's priority is supporting Jesus so he can be there for his friend tomorrow. And the question about staying has him smiling again.
"Course you can. It's still early but I was gonna cook tonight... maybe this can finally be when I get to show off instead of taking you out?"
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"I'm always gonna say to do whatever's more fun for you, if you haven't figured that out yet."
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"Spoil isn't the word I'd use," he murmurs, sinking his fingers deeper into Jesus's hair again. "But if you like the sound of it I'm not gonna argue."
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"This is very okay. You sure?"
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He doesn't want Ephemera to come home and walk in on them on the couch.
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"Yeah," he agrees warmly, shifting his grip. "Guess you'd better hold on."
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Especially considering where his hands have wandered -- it's only a partial defense to say that grabbing Jesus' ass makes it easier to pick him up. Drake stands in one smooth motion, stepping around the coffee table and carrying Jesus across the apartment towards his room. He doesn't need to see where he's going, the path second nature even if they were in total darkness.
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