[ He glances away from the book for a moment to check if Sharkface is blushing now -- not yet. But he's smiling. Drake grins back, eyes sparkling with amusement even as he speaks more seriously. ]
[ Sharkface huffs again. He was good at this once. Talking to other people, making them laugh. Making them smile the way that Drake's smiling now. It felt good, nature. Not always easy - it was something he had to work at, to practice - but it was the sort of work he liked, that he didn't mind putting in.
It's different now. Harder. He thought it was beyond him.
Maybe not, though. Maybe he can still talk with people like a normal human being. ]
I don't show a lot of people. Mostly, they don't ask.
[ Mostly, he doesn't offer. ]
I like drawing you. The way you move through the world.
[ That was the first thing he'd ever learned about Sharkface -- that he was a great artist. Looking at his work still gives Drake the same thrill, the same joy and appreciation even if he's not educated in art. He just knows what he likes. ]
Yeah? I'd make a joke about you getting my good side but... you kind of got every side.
[ That gets a faint huff. Sharkface settles against Drake, watching him. Wondering if maybe Drake will let Sharkface sketch him like this. Just for a little while. It doesn't have to be stiff. It could just be them, talking. Sharing space. Couldn't it? ]
How you talk with people. How you see them. Just - you. You pay attention.
[ It's hard to explain. Sharkface isn't sure he has the right words. ]
[ He absolutely would, especially if it'd make Sharkface happy. He's never posed for anyone before, not even Ephemera, but just talking, being together and holding mostly still is easy. Sharkface will have to ask, though, right now Drake's enjoying the contact. ]
It pays off. Watching people, seeing who they really are.
[ It's been a long time since he's just shared space with someone like this. Without it going sharp, without it turning violent in some way. Sharkface missed it, he realizes, and there's a pang of grief in his chest for all that he lost and knows he'll never get back. His brothers, his sisters. But for a long time he thought he'd never touch anyone again, not without violence, and now -
Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it feels like it's going to ruin him. But not right now.
He clears his throat. ]
Can I draw you? Just. Just for a little while?
[ He's done it often enough from memory. But not like this. Not when they're in the same room. ]
[ Drake tilts his head at the grief that passes through Sharkface's expression -- he's pretty sure he knows who the other man is thinking about, and so pulls him in a little tighter hoping it's a comfort. He's about to change the subject when Sharkface does it for them, and the request has Drake perking up a little. ]
Of course... like this? Or should I move? I've never posed or anything.
[ Drake passes it back, settling against the couch and Sharkface a little more comfortably. How's he been...? ]
Honestly? Kind of lonely, in that 'there are lots of people around but I don't feel close to anyone' way. It reminds me a little of when I was back in Seattle.
[ He wishes Sharkface had been in Hadriel, or... remembered it, whatever the case might be. But he should probably explain the comment about Seattle. ]
That's where I'm from... I worked undercover, so I couldn't really have connections. But I had to know and deal with a lot of people. It was like being alone in a crowd all the time.
[ There's something centering about sketching, about making any kind of art. It's not therapeutic, not like the counselor claimed, but it puts the world into its proper place. And then for a little while, things settle. They stay where they ought to be.
Sharkface watches Drake, nodding slowly. ]
You had to be on your guard all the time, didn't you?
Yeah. And couldn't tell anyone the truth, it was... I did a lot of good but I also kind of regret it. I never really got to have my own life and then I was dead, you know?
[ He watches the sketching, the lines appearing on the page with the promise of turning into something beautiful. ]
It's not so different here. I'm pretending, one way or another, most of the time. You're the only one I really trust.
[ There's a lot that Sharkface doesn't know about Drake's life before Duplicity. A lot they've shared, certainly, but not all. But he understands, he thinks. At least in part. You have to shut yourself off in a situation like that. Compartmentalize. It's about endurance, survival. And it takes a toll. ]
[ That's basically the best thing he could offer, to Drake. He nods, not wanting to make Sharkface feel pressured by his enthusiasm but... yes. He loves that idea. He'd give the other man a key if he didn't think it was too much too fast for him. ]
That'd be amazing. We'll have to pick more things for you to paint, I've got plenty of walls.
And you'll have to help me figure out how to arrange it so the transitions work. This place is pretty open plan.
[ Sharkface is the artist, he'll probably have an idea about that. In their Hadriel apartment Ephemera had started out painting randomly, sure, but in the end it had all flowed from one mural to the next. Drake misses it. ]
[ Sharkface makes a thoughtful sound, glancing out at the walls again as he sketches. The mural is fairly large, but there's plenty of room still. He could keep it simple, do landscapes that bleed into each other. Maybe even paint the ceilings to match. ]
[ There are a few people he'd like portraits of, but that might actually be better not directly on the walls -- they have canvasses readily available, here. ]
We can go through the sketchbooks again for ideas, if you're okay with that.
Yeah. But for some, maybe I could draw new things?
[ He knows the sketchbook is important to Drake. That it matters. That other version of him filled the pages. But it's not him. Or at least not entirely, or not right now. He'd rather add his own take on things a little. ]
[ Drake perks up at that, his smile returning easily. ]
Absolutely. Make it your own.
[ He trusts that it'll be great whatever Sharkface paints, and is curious now what designs he's considering. The book would just have been a starting point anyway. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ He glances away from the book for a moment to check if Sharkface is blushing now -- not yet. But he's smiling. Drake grins back, eyes sparkling with amusement even as he speaks more seriously. ]
I mean it, though.
no subject
It's different now. Harder. He thought it was beyond him.
Maybe not, though. Maybe he can still talk with people like a normal human being. ]
I don't show a lot of people. Mostly, they don't ask.
[ Mostly, he doesn't offer. ]
I like drawing you. The way you move through the world.
no subject
[ That was the first thing he'd ever learned about Sharkface -- that he was a great artist. Looking at his work still gives Drake the same thrill, the same joy and appreciation even if he's not educated in art. He just knows what he likes. ]
Yeah? I'd make a joke about you getting my good side but... you kind of got every side.
[ He tilts his head curiously. ]
What do you mean, move through the world?
no subject
How you talk with people. How you see them. Just - you. You pay attention.
[ It's hard to explain. Sharkface isn't sure he has the right words. ]
no subject
It pays off. Watching people, seeing who they really are.
no subject
[ It's been a long time since he's just shared space with someone like this. Without it going sharp, without it turning violent in some way. Sharkface missed it, he realizes, and there's a pang of grief in his chest for all that he lost and knows he'll never get back. His brothers, his sisters. But for a long time he thought he'd never touch anyone again, not without violence, and now -
Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it feels like it's going to ruin him. But not right now.
He clears his throat. ]
Can I draw you? Just. Just for a little while?
[ He's done it often enough from memory. But not like this. Not when they're in the same room. ]
no subject
Of course... like this? Or should I move? I've never posed or anything.
no subject
Like this. We can keep talking. It doesn't. It doesn't have to be formal or anything.
no subject
Okay. I like that, I can watch.
[ It'll be cool to see the drawing take shape. ]
no subject
Good. Good, we can do that.
[ It can be quiet. Simple. ]
How've you been?
no subject
Honestly? Kind of lonely, in that 'there are lots of people around but I don't feel close to anyone' way. It reminds me a little of when I was back in Seattle.
no subject
Yeah?
[ He tips his head to the side. ]
I get that. It's. I don't know. I feel like I can't breathe here.
no subject
[ He wishes Sharkface had been in Hadriel, or... remembered it, whatever the case might be. But he should probably explain the comment about Seattle. ]
That's where I'm from... I worked undercover, so I couldn't really have connections. But I had to know and deal with a lot of people. It was like being alone in a crowd all the time.
no subject
Sharkface watches Drake, nodding slowly. ]
You had to be on your guard all the time, didn't you?
no subject
[ He watches the sketching, the lines appearing on the page with the promise of turning into something beautiful. ]
It's not so different here. I'm pretending, one way or another, most of the time. You're the only one I really trust.
no subject
I've got your back.
[ It's said simply, a quiet promise. ]
Whatever happens.
no subject
I know. Thank you for that.
no subject
He clears his throat. ]
And. I can come over more, if you want. I can bring my paints. Finish up the mural. Work on some other stuff. Whatever you want.
no subject
That'd be amazing. We'll have to pick more things for you to paint, I've got plenty of walls.
no subject
You do. You'll have to think about what you want on them.
no subject
[ Sharkface is the artist, he'll probably have an idea about that. In their Hadriel apartment Ephemera had started out painting randomly, sure, but in the end it had all flowed from one mural to the next. Drake misses it. ]
no subject
I can do that. You want them all landscapes?
no subject
[ There are a few people he'd like portraits of, but that might actually be better not directly on the walls -- they have canvasses readily available, here. ]
We can go through the sketchbooks again for ideas, if you're okay with that.
no subject
Yeah. But for some, maybe I could draw new things?
[ He knows the sketchbook is important to Drake. That it matters. That other version of him filled the pages. But it's not him. Or at least not entirely, or not right now. He'd rather add his own take on things a little. ]
no subject
Absolutely. Make it your own.
[ He trusts that it'll be great whatever Sharkface paints, and is curious now what designs he's considering. The book would just have been a starting point anyway. ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)