[ Drake knows. He'd figured K was either stressing and working through that with someone else, or was just going to let it lapse... but this feels different. ]
That's okay. Can I ask if you're switching or taking a grace period? You know I'll still sponsor you, if it's that.
[He has his answer ready to go, the rational reason that won't hurt anyone, that won't keep running into the same wall over and over.
He's quiet a moment though, considering.]
It's a couple things.
I'm still having a hard time. Nothing in particular, nothing you've done, I just - it's hard to explain.
But there's also a friend of mine. She lost her contract partner last month, and I'm afraid she'll use being uncontracted as an opportunity to self destruct.
No? Trust your instincts, then, all I know about her is she definitely would've snapped me in half if I wronged you.
[ Drake doesn't know her, but now that K's given context he knows who the other man is talking about. ]
...you know that's fair, right? Even if you never like it. Even if you find somebody you're actually really happy with, that you trust completely, like-- [ No, he shouldn't go there. Drake cuts himself off and tries again quickly. ] There's something horrible and unfair about every world, I think. And what that is, it's gonna be different for everybody. Some things you just live in spite of, because other stuff is worth it.
...or I'm full of shit, you can totally tell me to shut up whenever.
Nah. I'm saying it's okay if you never overcome it, if it's always hard and you always hate it. Because there's still the worthy things that mean we're willing to put up with the bullshit. Today you're gonna sign to help your friend, so maybe right now it's her. I think everyone needs to find something to keep them going, at least... at certain points.
[ He exhales heavily, then sniffs and pushes through. ]
Anyway, uh. Want me to contact her about your lease? Or are you moving back in with her?
[On his end of the line, K cocks his head slightly, trying to decide what he's hearing. He doesn't like text or voice alone for this reason, but this is what he chose, so here they are.]
Thank you, but no. I haven't spoken to her yet about signing.
[ ...K wasn't supposed to ask that. People don't, generally, or at least they didn't. Drake's circle of those that do has shrunk again and he didn't expect K to wind up in it, but maybe he's just curious? That'd be easier, Drake thinks. ]
It means I... could probably stand to find another thing or two, to keep going.
[ Ephemera isn't the only one gone, or even the most recent. The paperwork Drake wanted to get done before calling K is still sitting in front of him, and he turns it over instinctively as if that'll make it all hurt less. Or as if K could see it and call him on it. ]
There's a lot of horrible unfair shit around here, right? But I'm still not totally alone either.
[ As always, Drake's first instinct is to brush it off. He's fine, he's always fine, nobody needs to worry about him-- until suddenly he's aggressively not fine at all and more of a burden than he would've been if maybe he'd leaned on somebody a bit sooner. And K said 'I'd like to listen' not just that he could.
Nuance. He might not have mastered precision with vocabulary in his own speech yet, but he does pay close attention now to the words K chooses. ]
Thank you. Did you mean now? It might get kinda long.
I think we might have different thresholds there, but you get me.
[ It's strange to realize that he can tell K is joking, subtle as it is and over a call. The fondness in his own voice is pretty blatant, betraying his smile. ]
Meet us here?
[ And a pin appears in K's inbox; if he'd recognize the location in the down, it's Harley's tattoo parlor. ]
[ There's a soft beep as the line disconnects, and Drake heads out soon after with Sable at his side. K and Mango will probably beat them to the elevator -- when he spots Drake he'll see that the other man has carrying a large, heavy-seeming bag slung over his shoulder. Closer, there's the sound of something rustling and metal clanking within. ]
K and Mango are, indeed, there - and Mango has grown quite a bit over the last couple months, filling out somehow even more despite how solid she already was. The moment she spots Sable and Drake she drops into a play bow, tail wagging furiously, but she's too excited to hold it, wiggling and barking and jumping. K, aware she'll calm down once she can reach them, waits calmly even though he can't help but smile.
It's reflex - thoughtless and conditioned - that when Drake gets in closer, he offers, "Would you like help with that?" And, "It's good to see you. We're ready."
How could anyone not smile at an excited puppy? Drake certainly is as they approach, Sable well trained enough that she isn't straining at her leash but her tail is also wagging furiously at the sight of her friend. They can have a moment to greet each other out in the open before the ride to the down, he figures.
"I'm alright with it, but thank you," he tells K. "Besides, it looks like you've got your hands full. Somebody's growing up fast, huh?"
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: voice
That's okay. Can I ask if you're switching or taking a grace period? You know I'll still sponsor you, if it's that.
Re: voice
He's quiet a moment though, considering.]
It's a couple things.
I'm still having a hard time. Nothing in particular, nothing you've done, I just - it's hard to explain.
But there's also a friend of mine. She lost her contract partner last month, and I'm afraid she'll use being uncontracted as an opportunity to self destruct.
Re: voice
I've been where she is... she's lucky to have you. And you feel safe with her?
Re: voice
I do. I stayed with her before, after V disappeared.
Re: voice
[ Another pause of hesitation, of Drake wanting to make sure he comes across right. ]
You said it's hard to explain. Did you still want to try?
Re: voice
Yeah that... doesn't really work with her, but.
[He'll try. Maybe it'll be different this time.]
I just... I could sign again. I wouldn't hate it. I haven't.
But I still don't like it. With anyone.
Re: voice
[ Drake doesn't know her, but now that K's given context he knows who the other man is talking about. ]
...you know that's fair, right? Even if you never like it. Even if you find somebody you're actually really happy with, that you trust completely, like-- [ No, he shouldn't go there. Drake cuts himself off and tries again quickly. ] There's something horrible and unfair about every world, I think. And what that is, it's gonna be different for everybody. Some things you just live in spite of, because other stuff is worth it.
...or I'm full of shit, you can totally tell me to shut up whenever.
Re: voice
[The rest though. The rest is harder, especially since he's fairly sure he knows what Drake stops himself from saying.]
Are you trying to tell me that contracts are the horrible, unfair thing about this world that needs to be overcome for other, worthy things?
Re: voice
[ He exhales heavily, then sniffs and pushes through. ]
Anyway, uh. Want me to contact her about your lease? Or are you moving back in with her?
voice
Thank you, but no. I haven't spoken to her yet about signing.
What does holding up mean for you?
Re: voice
It means I... could probably stand to find another thing or two, to keep going.
Re: voice
[He's not unkind about it, and the end lifts ever so slightly - not quite enough to be a question, not a straightforward statement.]
Re: voice
[ Ephemera isn't the only one gone, or even the most recent. The paperwork Drake wanted to get done before calling K is still sitting in front of him, and he turns it over instinctively as if that'll make it all hurt less. Or as if K could see it and call him on it. ]
There's a lot of horrible unfair shit around here, right? But I'm still not totally alone either.
voice
I'd like to listen, if you'd like to talk.
Re: voice
Nuance. He might not have mastered precision with vocabulary in his own speech yet, but he does pay close attention now to the words K chooses. ]
Thank you. Did you mean now? It might get kinda long.
Re: voice
I would like to be able to see you, though. If that's okay.
Re: voice
[ He flips the paperwork in front of him back over, then makes a decision. ]
Can I send you a pin to meet me somewhere? You can bring Mango.
voice
[He says it mildly, a hint of warmth in his voice that makes it a joke; he knows what Drake means by it, and he appreciates it.]
I'd like that. So would she.
Re: voice
[ It's strange to realize that he can tell K is joking, subtle as it is and over a call. The fondness in his own voice is pretty blatant, betraying his smile. ]
Meet us here?
[ And a pin appears in K's inbox; if he'd recognize the location in the down, it's Harley's tattoo parlor. ]
Re: voice
Of course. Now?
Re: voice
voice
I can do that.
Re: voice
[ There's a soft beep as the line disconnects, and Drake heads out soon after with Sable at his side. K and Mango will probably beat them to the elevator -- when he spots Drake he'll see that the other man has carrying a large, heavy-seeming bag slung over his shoulder. Closer, there's the sound of something rustling and metal clanking within. ]
Hey. All set?
~~~> Spam ]
It's reflex - thoughtless and conditioned - that when Drake gets in closer, he offers, "Would you like help with that?" And, "It's good to see you. We're ready."
no subject
"I'm alright with it, but thank you," he tells K. "Besides, it looks like you've got your hands full. Somebody's growing up fast, huh?"
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)