[ Ephemera closes his good eye, focusing on his breathing for a bit while he drinks. Ugg. This sure is going to be a fun morning. ]
Got a fight tonight. No shift at the bar, though.
[ Probably for the best. He's scared a couple customers away just by looking at them, and Ephemera's got a feeling it would just be worse with him fighting through a hangover. ]
You sure you're up for it? I guess you have to be, apartments here are expensive.
[ And he'd be paying for it alone now, since... well Angela not only moved out, but disappeared. Went back to where she was from, hopefully, like when people left Hadriel. Not recaptured by their kidnappers.
Maybe he shouldn't have hinted at her at all, though. ]
[ Ephemera doesn't say anything for a bit. Chews on a cracker and considers it a success when he doesn't immediately puke it back up. He will need to do something about the apartment, eventually. Move out, or find someone else to move in. The other bedroom has been sitting empty, exactly as Angela left it. Her things gathering dust.
It felt wrong to go in there. To touch any of it. So he hasn't. ]
I'll shake it off. No big deal.
[ He's fought through worse. ]
...fuck. Do you have to go somewhere?
[ He hadn't considered that part when he invited Drake over. ]
Back to the Safehouse for a shower and probably more sleep? If it's quiet enough there... I might be working tonight too, but I haven't built up any regular clients yet so maybe not.
It's called being a companion, which sounds sketchier than it is, I swear. It's for people in recovery... drugs, alcohol, that kind of thing. You're a support for them to maintain sobriety. The center's been assigning me cases while I get started here.
[ Ephemera eyes him for a moment, wondering if Drake's being serious. Apparently. ]
Huh. So that's a real thing.
[ That's good? Probably? Ephemera's known plenty of addicts over the years, though most of them were at least functional enough to get through missions. He doesn't know much about what goes into not being an addict, though. ]
Uh... new. But not so different so far from what I just did for people on my own, at least now I'm getting paid for it. I considered something closer to my comfort zone but fuck it. New universe, new job.
[ He shrugs, reaching for a cracker. ]
People shouldn't have to go through difficult shit alone, no matter what they've done. If somebody wants to be better, they deserve support. I didn't always think that way, but... it matters when someone believes in you. Y'know? I could've gone down a fucked up road myself if I hadn't gotten the help I did.
[ Ephemera considers that for a little, watching Drake. It hadn't occurred to him that was a job people might need and offer to pay for. Addition was just something that happened back home. A person was solid or they weren't, and that was a factor. You dealt with it. Cut them loose if that was what it took. ]
I guess?
[ He sounds doubtful, though, and isn't awake enough to hide it. ]
Sorry. You're probably good at it. We just. Didn't have anything like that back home.
I dunno if I'm good at it yet. [ He's just being honest now. ] I know I'm somebody people call when they're in trouble, though. When they need help with something. And I've been in vice for... too long.
[ Ephemera wonders if he counts as one of those people. He called, and Drake came even though it was the middle of the night. Maybe he should have called someone else. Trevor, maybe. Gotten them both drunk off their asses so it wouldn't matter. The dream. The painting he'd put up on the wall.
It did, though. And here they are. ]
It feels good to help people.
[ It's said a little wistfully. Ephemera gave that up a long time ago. It only ever hurt him. ]
[ Very, very gently, Drake bumps their shoulders. Careful not to jostle either of them so they feel sick, just. A little reminder of his physical presence. ]
But thank you. To keep trying is all I can do, right? If it means anything... the other you helped me a lot.
[ It feels like he ought to say more. Try to make it easier somehow, though Ephemera has no idea how he's even supposed to start that. They were close, he and Drake. Or at least that version of him was. There was trust there, the sort of thing Ephemera would have thought was beyond him. But there was a version of him that managed it, even if it was a universe away.
Breathe, Ephemera reminds himself. He touches his knuckles to his mouth, thinking. He wishes he knew the right things to say. ]
You can stay, if you want.
[ Ephemera twitches. Hopes he hasn't made it weird. ]
[ Ephemera is clearly struggling with something, and Drake is kicking himself for referencing the other version again. His version, as he's thinking of him, which isn't quite accurate. This topic is easier, though, so he latches onto it. ]
I don't blame you for getting out as soon as you could, even with the improvements going in that place is awful.
Same, actually. No privacy, no way to personalize your space, communal everything... I never lived in a dorm or barrack or anything so to me it's just. Like prison. Not great. It'll take me a few months more to save up for my own shithole with a currently non-existent roommate, but I'm working on it.
[ It's a small relief to have someone who understands. It's different from being in the military, which Ephemera had taken as a comfort. The knowledge that he always had a brother or sister to watch his back. That one of them would wake him if he had nightmares. Protect him in the dark.
It was different in prison. A relentless, unending threat. He thinks Ginia was the only one who really understood that.
Ginia, and now Drake.
Ephemera exhales slowly. Doesn't say anything for a while. ]
....look, I can't afford the rent here on my own. I got some extra money saved up from a job I did, but it's not going to last.
[ So. That's a thing. ]
Offer's open to you, or. Anyone you know, I guess.
[ Drake falters a little at that offer, which he really didn't expect but probably should have. It feels wrong in some ways, with him still holding back some of the truth and it being the room of someone who hadn't seemed to like him, but he can manage this, right? He can keep things separate. He wants to leap at the incredibly generous offer.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Got a fight tonight. No shift at the bar, though.
[ Probably for the best. He's scared a couple customers away just by looking at them, and Ephemera's got a feeling it would just be worse with him fighting through a hangover. ]
no subject
[ And he'd be paying for it alone now, since... well Angela not only moved out, but disappeared. Went back to where she was from, hopefully, like when people left Hadriel. Not recaptured by their kidnappers.
Maybe he shouldn't have hinted at her at all, though. ]
no subject
It felt wrong to go in there. To touch any of it. So he hasn't. ]
I'll shake it off. No big deal.
[ He's fought through worse. ]
...fuck. Do you have to go somewhere?
[ He hadn't considered that part when he invited Drake over. ]
no subject
Back to the Safehouse for a shower and probably more sleep? If it's quiet enough there... I might be working tonight too, but I haven't built up any regular clients yet so maybe not.
no subject
What kind of work?
[ Has Drake told him that? Possibly last night. He doesn't remember. ]
no subject
no subject
Huh. So that's a real thing.
[ That's good? Probably? Ephemera's known plenty of addicts over the years, though most of them were at least functional enough to get through missions. He doesn't know much about what goes into not being an addict, though. ]
....what's that like?
no subject
[ He shrugs, reaching for a cracker. ]
People shouldn't have to go through difficult shit alone, no matter what they've done. If somebody wants to be better, they deserve support. I didn't always think that way, but... it matters when someone believes in you. Y'know? I could've gone down a fucked up road myself if I hadn't gotten the help I did.
no subject
I guess?
[ He sounds doubtful, though, and isn't awake enough to hide it. ]
Sorry. You're probably good at it. We just. Didn't have anything like that back home.
no subject
I just wanna help people. No strings, no hiding.
no subject
It did, though. And here they are. ]
It feels good to help people.
[ It's said a little wistfully. Ephemera gave that up a long time ago. It only ever hurt him. ]
I hope it works out for you.
no subject
[ Very, very gently, Drake bumps their shoulders. Careful not to jostle either of them so they feel sick, just. A little reminder of his physical presence. ]
But thank you. To keep trying is all I can do, right? If it means anything... the other you helped me a lot.
no subject
Nice. Grounding. He tries not to lean into it. ]
I did?
no subject
[ He smiles, genuine but a little sad, and glances to the empty bottle on the table from last night with Ephemera's art on it. ]
At pretty much every turn.
no subject
Ephemera is quiet for a long moment, just watching Drake. Not sure how he's supposed to react. ]
....I wish I remembered. I'm sorry.
no subject
[ He finishes his water but doesn't move. ]
I think I'm on my way to being less dehydrated and out of your hair.
no subject
Breathe, Ephemera reminds himself. He touches his knuckles to his mouth, thinking. He wishes he knew the right things to say. ]
You can stay, if you want.
[ Ephemera twitches. Hopes he hasn't made it weird. ]
It'll be quieter than the safehouse, anyway.
no subject
[ Ephemera is clearly struggling with something, and Drake is kicking himself for referencing the other version again. His version, as he's thinking of him, which isn't quite accurate. This topic is easier, though, so he latches onto it. ]
I don't blame you for getting out as soon as you could, even with the improvements going in that place is awful.
no subject
[ That's good. That didn't go horribly wrong. He can work with that. ]
Too many people. I don't like crowds.
[ He hesitates. Honesty is something he's trying. ]
Reminded me of prison.
no subject
Same, actually. No privacy, no way to personalize your space, communal everything... I never lived in a dorm or barrack or anything so to me it's just. Like prison. Not great. It'll take me a few months more to save up for my own shithole with a currently non-existent roommate, but I'm working on it.
no subject
It was different in prison. A relentless, unending threat. He thinks Ginia was the only one who really understood that.
Ginia, and now Drake.
Ephemera exhales slowly. Doesn't say anything for a while. ]
....look, I can't afford the rent here on my own. I got some extra money saved up from a job I did, but it's not going to last.
[ So. That's a thing. ]
Offer's open to you, or. Anyone you know, I guess.
no subject
That isn't what comes out. ]
Are you sure? I might be... complicated.
no subject
[ That came out wrong. Ephemera exhales. Scrubs a hand across his face. ]
Be easier if it were someone I trusted.
no subject
He smiles quietly, ducking his head. ]
Usually is. Okay. I'm in, on one condition.
no subject
What?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)