There's a small, sharp pang at hearing that -- like a shard of glass being stabbed into his chest == despite that logically Drake knows this sort of defense mechanism is so deeply ingrained in Jesus that it's just a part of him. It has nothing to do with whoever he's running from not being good enough; in fact, the more comfortable someone makes him feel the more scared he'll probably be of it. Drake knows this.
But just like the instinct that made Jesus feel like he needed to leave, the sting of it doesn't really care about his rationale. Their childhood traumas are really butting heads at the moment, because Drake hears Jesus say that his told him he wasn't secure... and his wants to make it his fault. If he'd just been better, surely the other man wouldn't have felt the need to run to protect himself.
That's not how it works. Obviously, Drake scolds himself, you're proving that right now. Emotion is practically never logical. And the more important someone is to you, the more of them you have to contend with.
Drake takes a deep breath and lets it out slow, trying to exhale his insecurities with it. He came back. Jesus is right here, and that's more important than the fact that he ran. Maybe this is the first time he's ever come back? Knowing his track record at boyfriends, Drake wouldn't be surprised. His arm tightens protectively around Jesus' shoulders.
"Anybody deciding you're not right for them also isn't right for you, Paul. I'm sorry that's how it was for so long." He's quiet for a moment, long enough it almost seems like he's going to leave it at that, but he doesn't. "I'm never gonna do that. Everybody's a work in progress, but you're not a kid anymore either. If something's not working I'll just-- talk to you. Promise."
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But just like the instinct that made Jesus feel like he needed to leave, the sting of it doesn't really care about his rationale. Their childhood traumas are really butting heads at the moment, because Drake hears Jesus say that his told him he wasn't secure... and his wants to make it his fault. If he'd just been better, surely the other man wouldn't have felt the need to run to protect himself.
That's not how it works. Obviously, Drake scolds himself, you're proving that right now. Emotion is practically never logical. And the more important someone is to you, the more of them you have to contend with.
Drake takes a deep breath and lets it out slow, trying to exhale his insecurities with it. He came back. Jesus is right here, and that's more important than the fact that he ran. Maybe this is the first time he's ever come back? Knowing his track record at boyfriends, Drake wouldn't be surprised. His arm tightens protectively around Jesus' shoulders.
"Anybody deciding you're not right for them also isn't right for you, Paul. I'm sorry that's how it was for so long." He's quiet for a moment, long enough it almost seems like he's going to leave it at that, but he doesn't. "I'm never gonna do that. Everybody's a work in progress, but you're not a kid anymore either. If something's not working I'll just-- talk to you. Promise."